Stay hot for me, Seminoles!

Florida State o-line, you're just so alert!

What's your deal?

When Stanford went for the two point conversion against USC, Pete Caroll asked Jim Harbaugh repeatedly "what's your deal?" Last night, he had quarterback Matt Barkley go long against UCLA, when USC was up by two touchdowns with less than a minute left. I would ask Pete what his deal is, except I already know the answer: he is a hypocritical, classless individual.

The response I've been getting from USC fans is "why take that time out?" You take that time out to show your team that you're not going to lie down and give up. It is a matter of pride for the program. What Carroll did was not a matter of pride. It was a matter of ego. He is upset that the USC program is circling the toilet this year. He can no longer beat good teams, so he has to run up the score against teams that are not very good, teams that are rebuilding...like UCLA.

Tha fact is both teams played terribly last night, and both programs appear to have problems. It is about time that Carroll realizes that USC is currently sitting fifth in the Pac 10, and should be headed to the Las Vegas bowl. Carroll and USC have a lot more games in which the opposing coaches are going to run up the score in his future...and I can't wait to watch them. In fact, I'm not-so secretly rooting for an Arizona linebacker to "accidentally" tackle Carroll on the sidelines next week.

Frankly, I think Rick Neuheisel should have let his team storm the USC sidelines and start swinging helmets Miami style. However, since that couldn't happen, Neuheisel better remember this when he eventually brings the UCLA football program back from the dead, and he will eventually bring this program back from the dead. Once the Bruin receivers stop doing their best impressions of TO and Neuheisel finds his qb, UCLA is back in business.

To Pete Carroll: show some respect for this great rivalry. Show some respect for your opponnents. Calls like this do not go unnoticed. UCLA and everyone else you have managed to pissed off are all gunning for you. And this time it has nothing to do with the fact that you coach a good team and everything to do with the fact that you are a jerk.

Bringing the Enemy: Violation of "Rules of Being a Good Sports Fan" ch. 4, s 1

Contrary to popular belief, there are guidelines to being a good sports fan. There are certain actions that are so preposterous, so ridiculous, that they would offend any reasonable fan. One of these actions can best be described as "bringing the enemy." The rule is described below, with commentary from the rules committee.

Rules to Being a Good Sports Fan, ch. 4, s 1 "Bringing the Enemy to the Game"

(a) A true fan shall not bring a fan of the opposing team to a home game unless:
(1) opposing fan is significant other or spouse;
(2) opposing fan is in immediate family;
(3) opposing fan is dying of a rare disease;
(4) opposing fan is a close friend known to the true fan for a period of no less than three (3) years.
(b) All persons attending the game with the true fan must fall within one of the exceptions described above.

Commentary: The discussion of this rule was inspired by an individual that brought not one, but TWO patriots fans to the Colts-Pats game in Lucas Oil Stadium. Colts-Patriots has become a heated rivalry. In fact, it is one of the most intense rivalries in professional football today. Let's look at the factors at play here: two teams that consistently win their respective divisions, four recent super bowls between them, and...oh yeah...both start quarterbacks that will eventually end up in Canton.

So why would a self-proclaimed Colts fan decide to give his tickets to fans of such a visiting team? I mean, why stop there? Why not just fly in the entire city of Boston and negate the home field advantage completely while you're at it, dude? If these people are huge Patriots fans, then let them pay premium prices to a scalper. Don't make it easy on them. The only thing that makes this ok is that fact that the Patriots managed to blow a 17 point lead with four minutes left. I hope all the Patriots fans in the building cried...we know Rodney Harrison did.

Tailgating: Because IU Football and Sobriety Don't Mix

October has been disappointing for me. The Angels imploded against the Yankees in Game 6, the Chargers can only win against the Chiefs, and the Hurricanes choked against Clemson. With all this bad, it's time to focus on the good in sports: tailgating.

A couple weeks ago, I went tailgating for homecoming at Indiana University with my friends in Indiana. Those Hoosiers do it right.

On a cold, crisp autumn day, rows and rows of cars enter a series of huge fields, right near the stadium. A bunch of friendly Midwesterners fire up their grills to make pancakes and eggs. That's right, pancakes and eggs. These people are on the tailgate fields as soon as they open. In fact, my friends arrivedthree hours early. From 9 am until noon, we parked on the street and stepped into the tailgate fields to drink and start the tailgating fun. This was for a 7 p.m. game. Compare this to University of Miami students barely making it to a noon game.

Cornhole, burgers, and beer: it truly is a tailgater's heaven. It is one giant outdoor party that lasts all day. In my seven years of tailgating, I have never witnessed such a commitment to a tailgate. One group of people brought an entire pig to roast. Yes, they were sawing off the hoofs at 9:30 am. I couldn't watch.

I have tailgated at a lot of football schools. Nobody does it better than IU. And to think...all of this for a team that is perpetually in the Big 10 basement. Here's the secret: most of the tailgaters don't go to the game. At IU, tailgating is the main event.

Here's to you Hoosiers: Hoo Hoo Hoo...Hoosiers!

Quote of the Week: Celinda on Fantasy Football

One of my very best friends, Celinda, is currently winning our fantasy football league. When I say winning, I mean dominating. She is 5-0 and put up 108 points last week. Here's what she had to say about it:

"If you are looking for another blog topic, I recommend writing about the fallacy that is fantasy football. Skill? no...luck? YES. It's some sort of cruel football god joke on those who know what the hell they're talking about, and I am just a pawn."

Still, impressive showing out of Justice C-Dot!

The face of failure...

I would like to thank Jonathon Papelbon for having such an expressive face. Special thanks go out to the person who thought of "Papel Bomb" as a headline.

Stupid Comments from Both Men and Women

This weekend, I went to game 3 of the ALDS in Fenway. I was completely decked out in Angels gear. Obviously, this sparked some interesting conversation. Surprisingly, most of the Red Sox fans I encountered were very nice. After the Angels won, the most common comment I received was "just beat the Yankees." However, there were many ridiculous statement mades. Here they are:

Girl at Starbucks: "Angels! Yay! Go Angels! Who are they playing?"

The X Back Commentary: If you are unaware of the happenings during the playoffs, please do not pretend to be an Angels fan. This series was HUGE.



Guy at CCC: (context: we were discussing Drew Brees v. Philip Rivers.) He made many stupid comments during this debate. Here are the three worst:

(1) "Yeah, but Drew Brees built that system in San Diego."

(2) "Drew Brees had a better quarterback rating last year. He threw for like 500 yards a game."

(3) Unrelated to the Drew Brees debate: "Tom Brady calls his own plays."

The X Back Commentary:

(1) Quarterbacks don't build systems, coaches do. Coaches might build systems around quarterbacks, but that certainly didn't happen when Drew Brees was in San Diego. Aside from that fact, we've gone through a number of offensive coordinators and coaches since then. The system under Norv Turner is different than the one that existed when Cam Cameron was the offensive coordinator...and neither system was pass heavy.

(2) Total yardage and quarterback rating are entirely different. QB Rating for the 2008 Season: Rivers - 105.5; Brees - 96.2. Career qb rating: Rivers - 92.7; Brees 90. Thanks for playing, dude. You're just wrong.

(3) Again, just wrong.

Stupid Comments From Female "Sports Fans" - Part I

Nothing makes me more angry than girls that claim to be sports fans, but clearly have limited knowledge of sports. Ladies, just be quiet...you're making us look bad. For this reason, I'm starting a running list of stupid comments I hear from women discussing sports. I've given all these women nicknames. Here are a couple to start us off:

Patriots Fan: "Drew Bledsoe couldn't handle the pocket...the game got too fast for him."

X Back Commentary: How does someone possess an inability to handle the pocket? You are either a pocket passer or you're not (the latter tends to fail in the NFL). There is no such thing as a quarterback that "can't handle the pocket." The pocket is a delightful place for those with a good offensive line. Additionally, the game is no more "fast" now than it was in 1993, when Bledsoe was drafted. It is not as though we are discussing Otto Graham here. Besides, if the game was too fast for him, wouldn't Bledsoe then stay int the pocket? Points for knowing what a pocket is, but work on using it in context.

Red Sox Fan that claims to be a general baseball fan (comment made two weeks ago): Are the Angels winning their thing?

X Back Commentary: If by thing, you meant division, then yes they were. If you're a real baseball fan, you should be relatively familiar with the division leaders at any point in the season. It's ok if you only like the Red Sox, no one says you have to be an MLB fan.

Note: Men make stupid comments too. They will appear on this blog when I hear them.

Chronicles of a Depressed Chargers Fan

Some thoughts as I watch the Chargers embarrass themselves on national television:

• Given this performance, they should have to wear pink all year.
• Why...WHY...did the team refuse to address the aging defensive line in the off season?? Everybody knew Jamal Williams was getting old. He wasn't going to dominate the middle forever. Ogembi Nwagbuo is a non-entity at nose tackle. The Pittsburgh o-line pushed him around like a rag doll. The d-line gets no penetration and no rush.
• Thanks, Cromartie...thanks for reminding me why I hate Florida State University.

Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth made the following comment: "San Diego passed on Ben Roethlisberger...TWICE." Guys, Big Ben would have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the 2004 San Diego Chargers team. He would do nothing for the current San Diego Chargers. If Rivers and Roethlisberger switched teams at half-time, Rivers would be the one out there looking like a combination of Johnny Unitas and Steve Young. The Pittsburgh offensive line has given Ben so much time to throw tonight. Roethlisberger seriously could have done his taxes while waiting for receivers to get separation. A lot of quarterbacks can complete passes when they have 7 seconds to throw.

Unlike Pittsburgh in 2004, the Chargers had no defense (apparently, they still have no defense)... With the Steelers, Big Ben had to manage games. That's it. He was given time to develop. And frankly, I am still not convinced he is anything more than a game manager. Stop treating the Chargers' decision to trade for Rivers in the 2004 draft as the football equivlent of the Portland Trail Blazers passing on Michael Jordan for Sam Bowie.

College Football AP Poll Case Study: Miami and Oklahoma

Is Bob Stoops, head coach of the Oklahoma Sooner football team, paying those who vote in the AP Poll? Is he sending them charming fruit baskets? He must be. This is the only possible explanation for the Oklahoma Sooners sitting at number 8 in the Poll.

This week, the Sooners travel to South Florida to take on the Miami Hurricanes. Like Oklahoma, Miami is 2-1. Unlike Oklahoma, Miami is ranked 17.

Let's take a closer look at these two teams. The Sooners opened their season with a loss to Bringham Young University, currently ranked number 20 in the AP Poll. The Sooners' two wins came over Idaho State University (Division 1-AA) and the University of Tulsa, member of the all-powerful Conference USA.

Meanwhile, Miami's two wins came over Florida State and Georgia Tech, two teams that were ranked until Miami rocked them like hurricanes. Miami's one loss occurred this past Saturday at the hands of the Virginia Tech Hokies in an extremely hostile environment and rainy weather in Blacksburg, Virginia. For a team that passes as much as the Hurricanes, those two factors are basically the kiss of death.

True, Oklahoma lost its starting quarterback and Heisman trophy winner Sam Bradford during the loss to Bringham Young in the first game of the season. Bradford sprained his AC joint in his right shoulder. However, the potential for Bradford to return in his usual form after an injury to his throwing shoulder does not warrant a top 10 ranking. Moreover, Oklahoma’s backup Landry Jones has been more than serviceable at the quarterback position, completing over 60% of his passes for 673 yards.

Those that are lucky enough to have a say in these polls should investigate the teams further before declaring a team like Oklahoma to be at least nine spots better than a team like the Miami. If the Canes can stay focused after the disappointing loss to Virginia Tech, the Canes have the talent to beat Oklahoma. Then Miami will finally take its rightful place on top of Oklahoma in the polls.

Quality in Fantasy DOES NOT EQUAL Quality in General

I am a fantasy sports nerd. However, in addition to a fantasy football fan, I am a real football fan, which is more than I can say for many alleged football fans who participate in fantasy sports. To ensure that you will be respected as a legitimate NFL fan, I ask you, fantasy sports enthusiast, to stop evaluating the value of an NFL player solely based on his statistics.

Last year with the Broncos, quarterback Jay Cutler completed 62.3 percent of his passes for over 4500 yards, and threw for 25 touchdowns and 18 interceptions. He was subsequently voted into the Pro Bowl. He also single-handedly lost the AFC West for his team when he threw a red zone interception against Buffalo in the last game of the season. Still, people continue to describe Cutler as a "good NFL quarterback," citing his statistics and a poor Broncos defense. The Broncos defense had nothing to do with Cutler's interception. That mistake was his, and his alone. He was presented with the opportunity to win, and he failed. Tom Brady would not have failed.

True, statistics are an important means of evaluating a player. Some statistics are simply good, and there is no other analysis needed. For example, in 2007, Brady completed 68.9 percent of his passes, throwing 50 touchdowns and eight interceptions. Those numbers speak for themselves.

However, football is the ultimate team sport. Rushing for 100 yards per game does not automatically mean that particular back is good. It may have been a product of great offensive line or the effective use of the West Coast offense. What makes running backs like Walter Payton so great goes way beyond his statistics to the intangibles. Payton had fantastic field vision and could break tackles like very few running backs ever had. He saw the lane open up before it even happened. On any given Sunday, his statistics may have resembled the statistics of Joe Morris. In fact, Morris produced more touchdowns than Payton, so Morris probably would have produced more fantasy points. Joe Morris was no Walter Payton.